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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I feel sorry If you have Never Seen this Movie.....

by Pat Darnell
Escape to Athena, 1979
Yes that is Sonny Bono as comic relief side-kick Bruno Rotelli, side-kick being his favorite role in entertainment and marriage.

Roger Moore ... Major Otto Hecht

Telly Savalas ... Zeno




"If they put taps on their boots, they could play Music Hall..." [Elliott Gould as Charlie]
This motorbike chase scene, makes me wish I could have been there. I would love to take an old BSA through the tiny streets of the old world... We used to go to the gigantic screen and watch these Eastmancolor, Technicolor wonders at movie theaters. The music even includes a little Funk Disco at the credits... "Keep Tomorrow For Me" Written by Barry Blue & Rod Temperton Performed by Heatwave

David Niven ... Professor Blake

Claudia Cardinale ... Eleana

Stefanie Powers ... Dottie Del Mar

Richard Roundtree ... Nat Judson

Sonny Bono ... Bruno Rotelli

Elliott Gould ... Charlie

Anthony Valentine ... SS Major Volkmann

Siegfried Rauch ... Braun

Michael Sheard ... Sergeant Mann

Richard Wren ... Reistoffer

Philip Locke ... Vogel

Steve Ubels ... Lantz

Paul Picerni
MooPig Bastion of Good Taste in the Arts says: ..You can be certain that when a Film Critic from 2008 writes this kind of negative review about any movie, that movie will turn out to be a thing to cherish. If not for the one-liners, then for the pre-tourist, pre-EU faux scenery of Europe.

I suppose a look at actors in a historic farce is off limits now in the age of Obama, especially actors who are today vanquished from our collective journals. It is filmed on location for chrisse's sake. I guess I should be more attracted to Sparta, the 300 historic farce with all its CG X.. no? We at MooPig are not represented in the following review:

_________________________________
A very sorry effort: the death knell of the WWII film industry, 12 September 2008
Author: intelearts from the big screen
Absolutely dreadful 70s mish mash of comedy and action - all overacted and under directed. This really has lazy written all over it - dialed-in performances and everything is done in a way that belittles everyone involved.

The plot of a misfit gaggle of POWs on a Greek island with a benevolent German commandant (Roger Moore) who decide to rob a Monastery sounds good but the reality is just awful, and horribly banal.

The whole film is not helped by occasional forays into a harder colder sadistic SS company who arbitrarily hang and shoot the Greek citizenry, and Telly Savalas as an ex-monk with too much testosterone is no better.

Have to be honest and say this is probably my least favourite war film of all time - it just jars at every stage - even the great David Niven - who could make any line seem natural - seems totally bemused by the awfulness of the effort here. Maybe he did it out of paternal love for his son who co-produced this fiasco.

I firmly believe this film was one of the main reasons Hollywood stopped making WWII films and started making Vietnam films, and on the evidence here who can blame them? Fantastic cast, awful, awful, awful film - not even worth watching on a cold, wet Autumn Saturday - honestly...Look and feels like an amateur holiday video... good luck enjoying this one!
_________________________________
intelearts you are a new depression Dweeb: wait, you are more of an ignorant, amateur Obama-baby Dweeb. Maybe you should find a new day job.

All your taste must be in your mouth. Your review makes me want to chase down a good copy of Escape to Athena, at any price, exhaustively. Then watch it everyday for six weeks, until I have memorized it. Then look you up on a "cold wet autumn Saturday" in your poky, dodgy Penthouse and say: "Oh Christ, ratta tat tat, ratta tat tat."

No fat lady sings in this one, but Telly does dance the Zorba dance with the Bubbalina by the Fountain. Roger Moore and Elliott Gould invent modern eBay, and you, intelearts, are probably sitting around wondering where you can find five dollars to buy your next obeanie obaby on O'eBay...

"I firmly believe this film was one of the main reasons Hollywood stopped making WWII films and started making Vietnam films, and on the evidence here who can blame them?" (inteleart; ibid)
Speaking for Hollywood now, are you? On second thought, maybe no one should have made Saving Pvt Ryan according to the assessment that no more WWII films are relevant... Oh, wait I get it: you wanted the Nazi's to win... okay, well that would explain your Fascist leanings. Is this you in the following, intelearts?


PD Comment -- "Oh Sorry I was following my instincts:
November 19: sargasm
Deriving far too much satisfaction from glibly berating another with sarcasm.
For Example:
"Oh, thanks a lot for drinking my last beer! No, it's my fault... if I wanted it for myself, I shouldn't have put it in the fridge!"
"Dude, don't have a sargasm."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You left him a shrunken pile of his former, worthless self. He might never come
out to play again on the blogger playground. Now, brush yourself off and go see
what's happening...over-r-r- there...........
CMPSHLSTY

d2r2 said...

There was a coupla' years in there, about thirteen to fi'teen we lived and died for a Claudia Cardinale photo, movie, anything. Me and my homeboys from Pershing. I think General Pershing has a cameo in the movie. Great flick, Pato-Son. You've got style that ain't even been combed out yet.

MooPig said...

Thank you fellows, I have been on a run of sarcasm lately. We watched home movies from the sixties last night... and it shows in the ambience that we were happier then.

Criticism without reason is a crime too. Substance over fluff... eh? It is a goal of mine, re-visit all the cliches.... and fix them.

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