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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Report from ZEELAND: "Under the [SnowPlow] Glacier"


Philosopher and Poet Shoveler reports from the Heart of Michigan:
by R C at Zeeland,

HQ: "Rick, is there a glacier forming there in Zeeland?"

*[glick, glitch, snafoooo, bloww, squeaky, squeaky, Whirrrrrrr, static, static]*

Zeeland: My ass is too cold, it's global warming.

My ass is too hot, its global warming.


Nice frickin' theory - CAN'T BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT ! Sounds like an argument only a wife would come up with!

Well, I'm combining the hot with the cold in chapter 76 of my new book Ric's Inferno : page attached.


HQ: "So, you are writing again, Rick?"

*[crumble, swish, blast, crumble crackle, grind... flooooooshhh !!!!]*

We've lost live transmission, but this FAX from our Michigan correspondent just came across:

Ric’s Inferno – chpt. 76
But…. Some of us don’t want to wait for eternal JUSTICE. We are making plans to deal with them in this dispensation……..
I will be waiting for them next time …….!!! They won’t know what hit ‘em!

Snowplowmen suffer their just rewards …… endlessly shoveling the end of a residential driveway ………….just to have a devil-driven plow come by as they think they’ve finished.
Ha-ha, piled up again…ad infinitum !!!

PHOTO: Rick, those photo's you sent were too full of snow, so we went online and found this one... is that your car parked on the street?

HQ: "Would that btw be 'Joe the SnowPlowboy,' Rick?"

(to be continued)
_______________________
Update:
Cold winters of the 1980s

ASK TOM [SOURCE]
Dear Tom,
When people claim, "Back in my time, the winters were more severe," it is
usually a case of the weather being exaggerated in their memories. Well, I
grew up in the 1980s and winters were more severe then, but a neighbor who
moved here from Seattle thinks I'm wrong when I say I can remember many days
with temperatures 20 below zero.
Help me convince him...?
John Potempka, Chicago

Dear John,
You are absolutely correct. A computer sweep of the entire data set of
Chicago's official temperatures from Nov. 1, 1870, to the present supports
your recollections. In that period, Chicago recorded 15 days on which the
minimum temperature sank to 20 degrees below zero or lower. Five of those
days occurred before 1900 and nine of them in the winters from 1982 through
1985. The most recent occurrence was 21 below on Jan. 18, 1994.

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