One Tentacle alone does not a Squid make

News Bulletin:
Chinese may have landed on West Coast 70 years before Columbus waded ashore in the East...

PHOTO: Crowning Cow; Hidden Pig

HHuhn~hn!? *[sound like Scooby Doo uttering disbelief]

...Is that therefore 1492 minus 71 years, comes to plus or minus a few Brown Water Rats and Yellow Fire Geese, and Blackened Water Buffalo, 1421?

2009 Year of the Ox -- or, Brown Cow
by Pat Darnell

Our Pacific Rim neighbors' year begins on 1/26/2009, it is the first Day of the Year of the Ox. Last year was the year of the Rat, up until 1/25/2009. MooPig "Bean Counter Department" officially goes on record today saying: "It's tunnel vision that makes us all crazy, nevertheless."

Our 2009 is year 4706 in China's calendar and time zone. Some times Ox is referred to Brown Cow. It is not complicated to count days, and moon cycles as the Chinese do. What is improbable and complicated is to try to understand what Chinese do with this information, turning everything into anamorphic incarnate personified beings. For instance this is description of last year by Chinese standard:

2008 was a very special year. Earthquake, Flood, Cyclone, Tornado, Fire, Oil, War, Housing problems, Global Financial Crisis have happened in 2008. ... see articles "Predictable Roller Coaster Life in 2008 Brown Rat Year."

The Year 2009 (Brown Cow) is the 4706th Chinese year. The Chinese believe that the first king of China was the Yellow King (he was not the first emperor of China).

The Yellow King became king in 2697 B.C., therefore China will enter the 4706th year on February 4th, 2009. Also, the Chinese Year uses the cycle of 60 Stem-Branch counting systems and the Brown Cow is the 26th Stem-Branch in the cycle. Since 4705 = (60 *78) + 26, therefore this Brown Cow Year is the 4706th Chinese Year.

Did you get all that? Wood Fire Earth Metal Water... Chinese days and such are combination of these elemental functionaries, animated with animal traits.... so that it was:

2008 Male Brown Rat. Brown is Earth and Rat is Water. Basically, It's favorable for Lucky Element Earth or Water people.
But, we have to pay attention that Rat will turn into Earth when it meets Cow... [on January 25, 2009?]

...and repeated by for thousands of years throughout Chinese generations. Chinese attach their lives, routines and inexplicable occurrences to the passing of days as a Norwegian Brown Rat looking for someone's abode to invade, or as an Ox -- Brown Cow in its daily adventure of Herding, Grazing, Mating, Wallowing?

Hey, don't we do some of that too in USA today?

Okay that's all great, truly authentic. But one might approach this in several ways.

• One important way, we could try to memorize all the little Chinese pictographs, and complicate this until it is mind boggling.
• Or, two, we can realize that Chinese are people like us, and they go through daily tribulations, trials, successions just as do we. Chinese can be blown off course, just like any Saxon, or Italian...

I choose reason Two; Why?
Calendars are math. Rudimentary numbers help in many ways, true. So let me repeat a "thing" I heard the other day.

Someone has made discovery of a theory that Chinese landed on the west coast of North America 71 or so years before Columbus hit ground on the Eastern seaboard. A large "barge-like" Chinese ship built and perfected back then blew off course and "maybe landed on not specified, archaeologists are now trying to dig up Chinese ship-building wood they think is buried in sand dunes.

Artifacts will prove the earlier landing of China on North America?

HHUH~N!? *[sound like Scooby Doo uttering disbelief]

Sure it will. why not?Is that therefore 1492 minus 71 years, comes to plus or minus a few Brown Water Rats and Yellow Fire Geese, and Blackened Water Buffalo, 1421?

Do you know what early unwitting Chinese barge sailors probably found? Me neither. But I suppose the ship's Coxswain turned to the Bos'un and whispered something like: "Now we have the Japanese surrounded..."

What it amounts to for this writer is that if I believe what I heard in grammar school about Europeans settling and making a national government so we can have National Holidays and indoor Ice Hockey. Now I think then I will believe Chinese landed on the West coast and developed animal deity worshiping tribes. I believe!

Either by rational accident or by irrational accidents while someone is reading the phone book, I think maybe every sort of civilization has had its way with the American Continents, and all of those constituents have screwed up miserably.

I think sailing ships have crash landed here from every country, planet and garden, including Siam. Siamese did so in the year of the Water Goose Siam.... '52

Spainiards followed the Queen's money over here, performed genocide on indigenous tribes, and created the Mexican race; half Spaniard, half Indian.

Flooding waves of Granada-ians come to New Spain and then from Mexico ever northward.

Truth is that we are afraid of sea monsters. If we find a giant squid, we want to cut off all but one of its tentacles. Because each group coming here is like a squid with one tentacle: it has been a weak argument for survival. What does that mean? the groups who are here are cut off from their homes, cultures, and siblings. Families follow traditions that they just plain fantasize is something they do in their old country's. Fact is that no second generation American has any idea what their parents' hell is all about. Mexican, Italian, Blacks, Polish, Ukrainian, Swedes, all have the same rates of cultural obsolescence and replicate fade, once the children hurry as far away, from their home towns, as possible.

Viewing civilization with tunnel vision is the root problem.

It is fashionable, Genome mapping will turn out to be our most important tool to oust our biggest competition, and make a One World Blah-blah.

I predict in this year of the Brown Cow -- headed by Bill Clinton, all the biggest discoveries will be used to move our squid with one tentacle into the first family of world government.

Welcome! MooPig greets you in our special Year 2009 of the Tentacly Challenged Squid, hungry fellow who would eat the 4706 Brown Cow if it could get its tentacle on him. You 'll see as we move on through... the haze.

And don't miss -- Special Olympics trials "Squid meets Brown Cow" at the Nest... Beijing, 2009.

Epilogue:
Now that you have read to this point. You say: "What was that all about?"

I am trying to explain why One World government, money and taxes will never work out. That's all. Each group consumes the other... that is life.