Hermione is HAWT !!

She is so HAWT -- she's Retiring from Acting

by Pat Darnell and Staff

Pick your HAWT-est Person out there....!! It has to be Emma Watson. NO? Okay, who then?

Here is the poop:

"The 19-year-old is due to start an English and Art course at university in September and wants to enjoy her time as a normal student, away from the pressures of fame."

That's right -- enjoy time away from the pressures of FAME.

Meanwhile back at the Co-Ed dorms:

"Knock, Knock ..."
Who's there???
"Emma Watson in Burberry knickers"
HOLY SHIT !! OPEN THE DOOR -- LET HER IN..!!

The starlet, who recently featured in a Burberry advertising campaign in an attempt to shed her geeky on-screen persona, will step back from acting when she has completed work on the final Harry Potter film. (TelegraphCoUK. Digital Publisher of the year)

MooPig Editors were discussing Emma Watson last week as they all sat around the trough. "I think she is desirable," muttered older men and women of the editorial staff who were being very Poli-Correct in their remarks, so as not to alert Child Protection Agents. The younger editors claimed that Emma is one of their childhood idols. She is to them "... like Princess Di was to their own mothers ..."

Watson is currently promoting Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which is out in July, while finishing off work on the Deathly Hallows I and Deathly Hallows II, the two films that have grown out of JK Rowling's last book in the series.

We wouldn't be MooPig if we did not make some outlandish claim about our topic.

Our Director of Gossip and Mongering, Pete Moss, said he "Thought Hermione -- Emma Watson -- probably is in our hearts and minds to such a high degree, mostly due to recent deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Those two left a cavern of wanton fan-ship desire." [Director Pete Moss is rarely listened to, but most often quoted...] "This is not about having a pair of DD's, you bunch of doe-eyed grazers," said Pete who was a wee bit indignant.

Dolly Madison, Typeset Journeywoman, piped in "Just what the Hell are you getting on about, Pete?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Pete replied to everyone's bovine eyes looking dazedly at him. "Hawt-ness factors allude to Farrah Fawcett in 1976, and Michael Jackson in the 1980's."

"Look," said Pete Moss: "This is what Emma said recently -- " '...I want to forget about hair and makeup,' she said in an interview with The Times. 'Sometimes on a publicity tour I can't remember what time it is, what country I'm in.' "

"It is genius... it makes her 'available now... it is an exit stage strategy akin to King Lear, with everyone wanting more EMMA!" concluded Pete, driving home his theory.

"So, Pete, you are saying those two had to die so that Hermione, aka Emma Watson, would make mercury rise in the HAWT-ness Factor of humanity's need to lick and stick their collective fingers in the air and test the climate?" said Dolly with new respect for Pete.

"Yes, yes," said Pete building his case further:"See here what she says in her most understated manner:" ... her long-awaited screen kiss with Rupert Grint, better known as Harry Potter's friend Ron Weasley ... 'We did it two weeks ago," she said. 'Four takes one way and two takes with the camera in the other direction. Six takes altogether.'

"There was much muttering, nodding and tail swishing, some butting and name calling, and a horse fly almost started another stampede; but in the end all of MooPig's Editorial Staff came to an agreement:

EMMA WATSON -- HERMIONE -- IS HAWT !!! Read All About It...

EXTRA NOTE: Someone might want to tell Hugh Hefner that Emma -- age nineteen now -- is available maybe for sharing his revolving brothel velveteen bed and boudoir, and that he should get rid of those three old broads who all turned twenty-nine last year...

ONE OTHER NOTE: Sans Direction coined the term HAWT, and MooPig wishes to acknowledge his genius and grander sense of all things.... (Sans Direction)

AND FOR PETE'S SAKE: Can anyone tell us where to find Emma Watson's Rookie Card???