Moopig has Intellect. Does it have a Heart?

MooPig Wisdom as advertised is your One Stop Shop for Parody, Contention and Cookies. We receive 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, MooPigster heart breaking cries for help and traumatic pleas like the following  from Mario Ruopolo:

AAARghhh! ! ! ! Pasionaria, I could'a been your contender!

Moopig, one of your own has a screaming hole in the heart and needs a place to vent it. IS THIS THE PLACE?!

We are manly, yes. And intelligent to beat the band, goes without saying. Politically astute !? What a perfect world if they would listen to what we have to say.

But here today I blog-challenge us to tread carefully but courageously into the "heart-land". Love requited but forbidden is my beef.

I can not see my sweetheart, but I can Moopig her to the universe and let go of the angst. You space aliens listening in! and I know you are studying Moopig in preparation for your imminent invasion (boy are you in for a surprise...) You aliens, please capture my scream and project it to the outer reaches of the dada-sphere so that every star knows about the black hole of lost love on planet 3 of star system 138, sector 9 of the Uppity Realm of the Andromeda Riviera.

"Oh-h-h, I rememba' sail cloth.
Masted, trimmed, taut:
To gather gusting winds for friends, their lives and loves lost.........*
misquoted but serving the purpose from PHD circa 1982.
Changes justified by Mario Ruopplo (Il Postino)" the poesia is not for those who wrote it, but for those for whom it serves a purpose."

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Dear M Ruoppolo:
As soon as we learned to spell your name correctly, we are replying to your letter:

You are on the right track to conspicuous self-degradation. That is the first stage of dealing with angst of "high maintenance of liking everything nice, and tastefully decorous, and frugally sartorial with your self; while surviving with sufficient money, job, car, everything going for her and him [you] including looks.

It is a common self-evaluation of circumstances, leading to self vituperating.

Second stages are generally physical, about hypertension, hardening heart, and stiffening neck. Call us back when you reach second stage; it is important to control this stage so that you do not have a physical change so drastic that no one from your past recognizes you.

But then again that too has its advantages. We are prescribing at this time Pumpkin Spice Toll House Cookies for you and your achy-braky Heart.

Sincerely, yours,
MooPig "Parody, Contention, and Cookies" Staff